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I don't enjoy not studying anything practically useful. I don't like working with theories that aren't made to fit each other and build up on one another. I hate studying, only to find that I haven't really learned anything meaningful. I feel bad when my progress isn't measurable - it is like not doing any progress at all. It sucks that I'm doing something less meaningful than my peers. Not surprisingly, often times what I do is not appreciated by anyone, and that compels me to defect. And I absolutely hate how credentials improve the arguments better than logic.